I went to the Tuol Sleng S-21 Genocide Museum yesterday afternoon. I walked there, it was only half an hour, but I wish I had taken a tuk-tuk, the heat in Phnom Penh is so intense, 33 degrees but feeling more like 40! I went to the National Museum of Cambodia first, but it was closed for lunch – they don’t tell you this on Google. S-21 was also closed for lunch but with only half an hour to go I found a street coffee and waited. A guy from France came and sat with me, not only had he seen me earlier at the National Gallery, it turns out we are on the same travel itinerary, except he has been travelling since July and did Europe first, but he has just spent 2 months in Thailand, arrived here the same day as me but on an earlier flight, is staying for 2 months and is waiting for either Laos or Vietnam to open – lol.

The S-21 museum was so sad, the atmosphere was full of death; I cried most f the way round, especially when I saw the photos of all the people tortured and killed and the cells they were detained in, not to mention the blood stains on the floor, their blood, and the cabinet of skulls, their skulls, it was horrific and so depressing, and it used to be a school before the Khmer Rouge took it over.There were also a couple of survivors selling books of their stories, I had so many questions to ask, but all I could was weep for them – I bought a book. Even now I can’t shake the images from my mind and whenever I see a Cambodian my age or older my heart bleeds for them, I can’t imagine the horror of what they went through – I am seeing Cambodia in a totally new light.

After S-21 I went to the National Museum, but I didn’t enjoy it. The artifacts were amazing, some of the statues and carvings so intricate but I couldn’t shake the misery I was feeling. I wondered around it in a daze and in need of a beer.

I was going to cancel my date with Mighty but decided not to be so rude, and I am glad I didn’t. Although he was quite boring it was good to have some company and someone to chat mindless shit to. 9 months ago he was in a car accident here in Cambodia (the driver was drunk) and still has to go to the hospital every 14 days to get his right foot checked out, not only has he got metal plates in his ankle they had to amputate his three middle toes – he showed me – OMG. It was really hard getting conversation out of him so I babbled on about nothing for a long time but eventually we did have a  giggle at all the white western guys that were obviously on a mission to find a Cambodian woman for the night. He wants to meet again tonight – same place same time – lol. On my way back to the hostel I got chatting to another guy, Joel. Although Indian he was adopted by an English family and grew up in North London. We went for a coffee, and I was quite relieved when he went for a walk and didn’t invite me, I would have said no thanks if he had. He is one of those people who likes to talk about himself all the time and then the moment you start to say anything he looks disinterested and at one point he even started using his phone – rude wanker – no wonder he has been travelling and working abroad on his own for the last 10 years – lol.

So today is my last day in Phnom Penh I am going to the Killing Fields, which will probably be just as depressing as the S-21 museum, and then to the Russian market. I also need to work out where I am going next and how to get there – lol.

Later

I think I forgot to mention that last night as I was having beer an American guy started chatting to me, obviously in a lot of pain, he not only told me life story and how he is married to a Thai lady, but also about his hip injury. Then just as I was leaving he asked me to lend him $10 promising to give it back to me in the morning before going to the hospital. I did, and was not expecting to see him this morning. But as it turns out he, Danny, is not a ponce, he was outside the hostel as planned and gave me my $10 back. I was having trouble getting money from the ATM so went for a coffee and to call the bank and there he was and without me saying a word he paid me back. He is in hospital this morning having an operation on his knee but thinks he will be out this evening and gave me his number. He said tomorrow we will go to his sisters’ place on the beach. So now I do not know what to do, should I book a minibus to Sihanoukville and room for one night before heading to one of the islands or hold out and see if he comes through with his promise. I think I may hold out, and if he fails me, I am sure I will be able to pick up a minibus ticket at the station tomorrow and book a room on route.

The killing fields was not as traumatic as S-21, in fact it was a very serene place full of butterflies and birds, but it did have an extremely somber feel to it, and it was heart breaking to see all the skulls and graves – I shed more tears.

After that I got my chauffer (driver for day, I also bought him lunch before going into the killing fields) to take me to the Russian market, it reminded me of the old arcade market in Brixton, but it was far more rambling and sold everything from car engines to fish and meat. I didn’t stay long, just had a wonder up and down some of rows, bought a banana shake and left.

Have I mentioned how intense the heat is here – I really don’t like it, it gives me a headache and makes me feel very frustrated, I hope the whole of Cambodia is not like this – it must be cooler by the beach?

A little later – FFS – Danny has just called from the hospital, he is need of some serious dollars to pay for his op, said his sister is wiring him the money tomorrow. So sorry Danny, I know you returned the $10 but I am so not lending you anything more than that – I truly believe he is in pain and in need of an op, you can see it is true from the pain on his face, his crutches and all the meds he carries on him, but still – for all I know he could be a very sophisticated con artist – so not taking any risks.